I’ve always had steady friendships throughout my life. Some have lasted until today and some have not. The one constant connection throughout all of these friendships has been school. School is the place you can make lifelong friends and the place where you’ll always have something in common, one way or another.
It’s when you’re finished with school things can get a little dicey.
When I graduated from college and entered the real world, it became harder to stay in contact with my closest friends. They were no longer a block away to come over for drinks every night. Our friendships shifted, but it didn’t mean they were over.
Friendship in your twenties is an interesting journey with twists and turns. I realized some of my friendships were only kept alive by our common bond of the experiences we both had in school. It was hard to let that go after so many years, but I’ve learned that it’s okay. Life post-grad is real. Real responsibilities, real and unexpected life demands, and new influences. You will grow apart and learn that you’re not as alike as you thought you once were. It’s okay.
On the other hand, it takes a hell of a lot more effort to stay in contact and make solid plans with the friendships you do keep. But the ones you do are worth it.
Make an effort to forge new experiences together. It’s fun to reminisce about college days, but after a while you should make new memories in order to keep the relationship going. Plan trips to reconnect, especially with the ones that are long distance. On the same hand, understand that it’s not always possible to see each other as often as you might like. Everyone’s got their own thing going on and that’s okay too.
Life in your mid-twenties is a mess of emotions and decisions on uncharted waters. I don’t know what I would do now without my best friends to sulk in our conversations of what we should be doing with our lives. None of us have the answer, but we can commiserate over pizza and beer still and try to figure out what the answers might be.
Making new friends in your twenties can also be an….awkward or strange experience.
I can’t say I’ve had too much luck in this category so far. Sometimes it can be hard to make a genuine connection with someone you meet at work or a social event. A lot of conversation is surface level, which is the WORST. But if you share a common interest with someone, go out on a limb and ask them if they want to go out for drinks and talk more. It’s such a great feeling to hit it off with someone new.
It kind of feels like you’re asking them out on a date, but who cares! Make the leap. Open up your circle of friends. You never know where it might take you.
What has your experience been like making friends in your twenties? Leave me your stories or tips in the comments.